January 21st, 2013
It’s fast approaching, kids. You’ve got 3 weeks to go before you’ve got a) a really happy sweetie, because you’re the best gifter EVER! b) a tragically sad ex because your thoughtless gift has ruined the earth c) an opportunity to protest by wearing all black and declaring the day completely stupid ANYWAY. Sooo, if you’re looking to achieve answer a, or avoid answer b, this list might help you out. If you’re planning on answer c? Well, nuts to you!
No, just kidding, that’s not cool. I’ve been there, people, it’s a huge bummer. I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do. You shouldn’t go out to eat with someone who has a crush on you but for whom you have NO romantic feelings about because THAT is just gonna be awkward times, I can tell you that. Maybe you can stay home and check out the Attic’s little side project, Chameleon Sex Party! That’ll make you forget your woes for at least ten, maybe 15 minutes!
Ok, so, first up:
1) Attic Stuff!
All the love, none of the mush!
You knew we were going to list this, right? Come ON. This is our blog. It had to happen, but seriously? We have SO MANY COOL THINGS!!! We’ve got valentines that are cute and some that are creepy! We’ve got jewelry for you traditionalists and we’ve got clothing for style mavens. We’ve got squishy lovable stuffed animals for those of you who crave plush love, and we’ve got dye and makeup and bleach and everything else you need to give your partner a day of beauty they’ll never forget! And if THAT isn’t enough, we have gift certificates, because sometimes you think you’ve gotten the perfect gift, but you’re nervous and you want a little backup, so you give them that in their card and you’re double covered!
2) Hair Bugs!
He got me what I wanted, but he only bought ONE. I am crushed. CRUSHED.
I know, right? You didn’t even know about those and now you do and you’ll die without them. And rightly so! They are AWESOME. They’re from a little company called Cetonia Designs, and are made by super genius Jenn Rose, and they’ll make you look approximately 100x more awesome than you were BEFORE you put a bug in your hair.
3) Weird Dolls!
Because right now, on the other side of the world, this is entirely possible.
You know what’s an awesome thing to get in a box? Art. When someone buys you a piece of art, they’re really going out on a limb. They’re saying “yeah, I know you THAT well.” It’s a bold move, to be sure, but one that, if done correctly, pays off big. Plus, you’re supporting an artist, making you a MUCH better person than someone who just went with the candy/roses route. So we say, check out Concocted Curios on Etsy. They’re awesome and they’re Attic fans. Yeah, that’s redundant, but what are you gonna do?
4) Something Ugly!
You’ve got a little something… oh, forget it.
Ha ha! Got you. Ugly is in the eye of the beholder, along with beauty. Really, his eye is full of crap. Nothing to be done.
Poor guy, always with things in his eye.
So, yeah, here’s another place you should check out for rad Valentine’s Day treats. Ugly Art Dolls by Shyla! Not only does she have some cool dolls, but she’s also got one of a kind jewelry and other assorted thingamabobs.
And finally, a classic:
5) Sexy Sheets!
Oh, we didn’t see you there!
Ladies, you seem to have forgotten something…
For this one, I’m listing two purveyors, Sin in Linen, and Vice Merchants. Now, here’s the thing, these are not cheap gifts. Sin in Linen is going to run about $100 for your sheets, and Vice Merchants laughs at your $100 and asks for $175, but LOOK at how gorgeous these sheets are!!! SIL also offers all kinds of gothic options, with skulls and bones and stripes that would make Tim Burton swoon, while Vice Merchants sticks with the naked ladies, and sometimes gentlemen. Either way, when your twoo wuv unwraps something from either of these sellers, they’re going to want to use that gift right away, with you, in the nude. (And by with you in the nude, I mean they’ll want to have sex with you.)
So there you have it! Amalthea’s Attic’s possibly annual Top 5 Awesome Valentine’s Day Gift Suggestions! Have an idea we seem to have overlooked? Leave it in the comments, we’d love to hear it!
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