Many of you blog readers are aware that we have a Facebook page (and if not, get aware! There’s all sorts of fun chattiness going on there) and today on the page we were discussing meatballs. I’ve been home sick for almost a week (and then today I smashed my toe for extra stuck on the couchness) and so I’ve now seen the Mama Lucia commercial approximately 967 million times.
Aside from the fact that this is an extremely annoying commercial, it got me thinking “are there really people out there buying frozen meatballs?” I posted on facebook that I thought that was insane. This began a debate. Apparently, some people don’t know how to make meatballs, and some do and don’t have time. Nonsense, I say!! It’s a ball of meat. You have time. Seriously.
So for those of you who requested the recipe because you know how but want to see my method, or if you don’t know how, or if you just enjoy reading recipes because you’re one of THOSE weirdos, here you go, this is my awesomely insane meatball recipe.
Ground Meat, about 1lbs! (I use turkey meat. You can do this with beef, but c’mon, give turkey a try. It tastes awesome this way and it’s so much better for you.)
Bread Crumbs (I use seasoned, I’m a spicy gal.)
Eggs (I use that egg starts egg whites stuff that comes in a box because it cuts down the fat and calories and this is basically just glue so it doesn’t matter.)
Shredded Zucchini (this is optional, but highly recommended!
Whatever other spices you find amusing.
Ok, so here’s what you do. You want about a pound of meat and you’ll want to pop it in a bowl. Now, take an onion, I use a big one because I love onions, and the equivalent of an egg (if you’re using the liquid stuff, if you’re using a regular egg, just put in the egg) and put them in a food processor, or a blender if that’s what you’ve got handy. Now add the spices and liquify that mess. It’s going to get kind of frothy. That’s what it’s supposed to do! Once it’s a liquid, pour that on top of the meat in the bowl. If you’re using shredded zucchini (about 2 cups, skin on, is what I tend to use) you’ll want to put that in too (the bowl, not the blender!) Now’s the fun part. Squish! Squish this mess up until it’s all blended. Then, slowly add breadcrumbs until it’s a little bit dense and you can not only roll it up into a ball, but it holds it’s shape. You really have to just commit to getting messy here. I’ve done the gloves route with this but you’re only fooling yourself. A mess is going to happen. Just accept that you won’t be touching your phone for a while and find a good movie on TV and you’ll be just fine. Now, take a plate and make a big circle of these raw meatballs on it around the outer edge. Do it again, just inside that circle. Keep going on this way until you’ve either run out of plate space or meat. If you run out of plate space, get another plate. If you run out of meat, damn, those are some big meatballs! Once you’re done making these fun little meat rugs, pop the plate in the microwave and nuke ’em on high for 3 or 4 minutes. They’re NOT going to be cooked! They’re just going to set somewhat. Give them a minute or two to cool down and drop them into freezer bags. They can live in these bags in your freezer for quite a long time. Yes, they’ll stick together but when you need some just slam the bag down on the counter and they’ll break apart easily! When you’re ready to actually eat them, you’ll put some sauce in a pot, pop in some of these meatballs, cover the pot and simmer over low heat for about 15 minutes. They’ll be awesome. Congrats, you’ve just made dinner for at least a week’s worth of meals and you didn’t have to suffer the shame of being the kind of person who buys frozen meatballs with a bad theme song. You’re welcome.